Finally, the 03.11.25 except this time it's not 2am. Whatever. Things are nearing their end, 'life' I mean. I hate everyone. I can barely stand being in the same room with people, why must NPC's EXIST so loud, they're all the fucking same, making so many fucking noises, they're all just like my mother. I fucking loathe everyone. They're finally catching on that I don't want to communicate. I swear, if these guys talk to me tomorrow, thinking I will be a good little wageslave, my aggressions are going to spike. I couldn't help but scowl at this pair of mother and daughter I keep seeing on my way to work. The torture labyrinth is showing me things I couldn't have, how nice. At least I have the smug satisfaction of knowing these people aren't real. Again, always the same people walking past me from all directions.

I'm going to file a police report regarding what's been done to me soon. Teacher included. He didn't help at all. He made me keep being scared. I want everyone to suffer for once, not just me. I had one shot at life, and it was ruined the moment my parents decided to have kids, I can't start over, I can't become anything meaningful, all I can do is waste the rest of my years away, but I really hope I can at least scare these pieces of shit with the police. Maybe I can put the entire school on blast. That's the only revenge I want. But who cares. Nobody gives a shit when a woman gets bullied, harrassed and has her name dragged through the mud with impersonation. It's the norm. The rest is too old. And my mother is going to be miserable anyway without me, that's as much instant revenge as it's gonna get. I fucking hate my brain, every day is pure agony. I am alone in every sense. Nobody feels responsible for helping me, and nobody is real. It's just me suffering in the torture simulation until I die. I need to lock myself up so nobody can ever touch me or think about me again. I hate everyone. I don't want to participate in your disgusting society. You've done nothing but make me miserable. I need to stop posting. I don't know, something is telling me I'm just giving myself a bad online footprint. Not like anyone knows me, I don't exist. I don't care. I'm not going to read this shit again.

God I don't even want therapy anymore. I give up. It's a scam, you can't pry these beliefs away from me. You just want to brainwash me and abuse me some more. I don't need anyone else telling me I'm being lazy and ungrateful and I am healthy, I've had my entire life for that already. I don't know why I do or say most things. Someone else is making decisions for me sometimes. I hate everything. There's nothing I can think of that would make me permanently better. My life is fucked. Keep messing it up, then maybe I'll have something to cry about. There's a spy in my friend group. What the fuck do you want from me. Nobody fucking takes me seriously, but what else did I expect. Why would things ever change? There's this pressure in my head like I'm going to snap and do something bad soon. I've held back my entire life. I'm not stupid, I won't do something horrible that would get me arrested, that's not what I mean. I hope nobody wakes up. Nobody should live. The bad don't deserve to live and the good don't deserve to go through this mess. I fucking hate you. The timing is impeccable as always.

I'm never going to forget what my mother said to me that opened my eyes to the years of abuse. "IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU! YOU NEVER ASK HOW I FEEL!" after I told her I've been harrassed many times, and that her ex husband was a creep to me. Nobody who is truly real says shit like this. The one person I love would hate me if she read this lol, I'm being very stupid and saying a bunch of cringe things, but if I got repercussions they wouldn't be real either