It's the 12.02.25. Wow, another one. Come on barbie ...let's go party. Site broken if not on my screen size. For Eden: 80% zoom :3 
There's that difference when seeing someones art online and going wow, I suck ass, why try, and then rarely, very rarely, you see something, maybe it's the fact that your skill level could be even vaguely similar, and you go wow this makes me want to draw too!
That is kind of what happened to me some hour(s) ago 
I wasn't exactly even looking for it, but then I clicked on the gallery myself. Maybe that's a factor too, something that demotivates me because I suck is something I usually just get shoved in my face by twitter. Social media generally just kills all my motivation lmao. Also "Comparison is the thief of joy" but then again, if i can't compare where I stand, it's useless saying things like that. "But what matters is that YOU like it!" I will never like what I do! And if I do, I get sad that I can't recreate it perfectly (very first human Reala drawing) and I become obsessed with repetition. No thanks.
TLDR: I don't know. And it's useless spending my time thinking about things that will never change in my mind! All I know is I want to keep drawing, especially after getting motivated by seeing something like this earlier
...What did I say about staying away from NiGHTS so the interest doesn't fizzle out before I can get my cosplay? One look at this page will tell you what. I got obsessed with Jackle suddenly, coping that hey it's not NiGHTS as a character so it should be fine to indulge some more. AHHH WHATEVER! WHJATEVER, I DO WHAT I WANT! RIGHT NOW I WANT TO BE STUPID! As long as I don't find anything else I'm good. I'm not particularly looking for anything, and every monthly obsession is just recycled fandoms anyway, it's never something new because I don't know anything ever, remember? I will keep recycling interests from my life to feel young. I'M NOT OLD BY THE WAY.
Also, why does drawing on paper feel so nice? WOOOOOOOOW I JUST GOOGLED AND MY PRINTER CAN SCAN? 
Sorry, I'm shocked because I have never scanned one of my drawings. The drawings that motivated me are also pencil sketches that have been scanned! Somehow I have been enjoying drawing on paper with pencil, usually I don't like it because you can't adjust and move things easily like with an Ipad, but everytime I go draw on my Ipad recently, it just...feels so hard. And it comes out so wrong, I have like 4 wips piled up.
I will try more paper drawings, aND I'LL TRY SCANNING THEM!!!!!!!!!
Autism special: This is Reala and Jackle
I love making sense to myself only. My brain works in non-mysterious ways that are coherent to the public but sometimes I feel like some of the thoughts I have are very . idk