28.10.25. What, I'm still here? Faker, a real true gamer would have killed herself. You're all talk no actions. Well some of us have some obligations and I'm not talking about trying to fit into my mothers otherworldly narc delusions. No, even then it's kind of stupid I could be free if I wanted. No I couldn't. People in power don't even let you kill yourself even if you tell them you're not going to be a productive member of society. You only get to do that if you're old or have it on paper. Speaking of paper? call back in 5 months
'I'm just trying to hepl you. I don't know what you're going through. YOU'RE INSANE DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THROWING AWAY YOU WORKED SO HARD FOR THIS. Every woman goes through this. I don't know what you're going through. Are you insane, why aren't you at work right now? I want to help you during these times. I don't know what you're going through. I will assume you're just trying to get out of work. I'm going to make it all about me, I named you moon because you're going to orbit me and I'm a GIANT piece of shit.'
Please stop having kids. You're keeping these lines of therapists at work here. For every child you abuse you need to train a wholeass psychologist. My head hurts, every night when I go to sleep I get panic attacks, when I research about poisons my stupid body is acting like I'm already dying. You suck all the joy out of me. You laugh at me, then tell me we both haven't reached anything in life - did you know my life is over? cool. If I die, you die too, everything ends as I know it, so does the entire world, you're NOT slick, you keep showing me the same npcs running in front of me, I noticed. There's no way all these people are real. You make me SICK.
How can a mother be so insane and fucked in the head, if I end it, it's going to be used as sob story, if i escape, it's going to be used as sob story. But if I'm dead, at least I don't need to witness it, as it doesn't exist and will never happen. I'm so warm then I'm so cold I don't even need to worry about heating this year. Why the fuck do I still have friends. Nothing gets better. If you notice a mother neglect her child, why the fuck did you not say anything? I'm not even a person, I'm what my mother made me and then whatever the fuck happened after that, I speak out loud about what's being done to me and then stop because I noticed it's not me speaking. It feels so nasty, now I can't even have the simplest thing anymore.
Don't know if there's a big difference in nonexistence and just rotting away like I am now. Just kidding. I'm still getting yelled at and used as stress toy, being looked at, being thought of in disgusting ways, but if i WAS finally alone, then? Is there a difference? Dunno. But there's still going to be people who have the absolute gall to think they can meddle in my shit and demand me to go workworkworkwork why don't you go to work what if I drive you to work oh is the school the problem, I'm not gonna see myself as the problem, I need my traumatized daughter to work 6 to 6 because I need that money to feed my fat self. You won't see me when my cats leave this earth, I'm going with them. Until then? what? Nothing. Nobody is feeling responsible for helping me, I'm getting thrown from 1 lady to the other, phone call here, then appointment there, ultimatively, nothing gets done. "We don't do that here. We don't offer that. Have you heard of xyz? go there. They can help" I want to mail everyone a piece of my limbs in the mail. If I exploded into pieces that would be nice. Nobody could look at me as a person but only as pieces of many. GODDDDD YOU'RE SO FUCKING CRINGE Nah I'm fine if this the last thing I post before I somehow get killed because It's not me and I don't exist and I have never existed so I'm exempt from critique online